The Noble Pagan Forums - Different is Good

brrrraaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ssssssssssssss!!!!

I live to be different....though I may *look* the typical soccer mom in my neighborhood (and I SO hate the term soccer mom!) the way I parent, live, etc....is totally me - and I think I scare away most of the bus stop moms because of it - but I won't change a thing ;-) I figure with all that life has thrown me, with all the crap I have been through, I am entitled to be who and what I am meant to be. I EARNED my place in this life and I will live it to the fullest.

When I was a kid I desired to be normal. I wanted nothing more than to be 'normal' because well...it was really difficult being the only Pagan girl in the neighborhood with a Pagan family who had parties, didn't go to Church, who's parents were pierced and Tattooed, played loud music blah blah blah...

And then one day I stopped trying and realized I fit in perfectly where I belong.


I'm stick'n with the crazies!

I once had a neighbor (pastor's wife) tell me she would pray for me and my "heathen" ways. Mind you I had JUST moved in, had done NOTHING to even hint at any beliefs what-so-ever.....never even bothered asking, just assumed. Those type of people drive me crazy!! I always tell my children "Those who fail to ask for the truth are as ignorant as the lie" Once of my few mantras I came up with along the way ;-)

Yea, when I was a kid my playmates Mom told me not only were the Mormons going to take over (because a Temple was being built) but that I and my mother were going to Burn for eternity.

It was a real magical neighborhood.

My "different is good" most important experience was with Santeria. I had been studying European Witchcraft and Shamanism for more than ten years, but I knew that they were not MY path. I had a lot of prejudices about Santería because all the practitioners I had met were mean, manipulative people, that showed no spirituality at all and cared only about the money they would steal from their customers.

One day a woman started working in the occult shop I was reading Tarot at. She was an outgoing, smiling and very talkative person so we became friends very quickly. She had been in a Santeria church for years and taught me what Santería really was. In a matter of weeks, she had enough signs to be sure that Eleggua, the Orisha of Luck, was my patron. I was scared of entering into that, but I felt its truth without mistake. Its practises and beliefs resonated inside like no magick had done before.

Eleggua, and Santeria, have been with me since then, and they are my life. The guidance of the Orishas changed my life and myself completely. In the twelve years I have been living under his blessings I have grown and experienced so much. My life is not easy, being a self-employed Witch without no other family income, but it is a very happy, blessed and magickal life.

I was very wrong about Santeria, and it only took one positive, loving person to change it. I will be forever thankful for my big mistake, that brought me my biggest miracle.

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Carolina Gonzalez - The Hoodoo Shop
Blog - Shop

OH MY GAWD..........

*peeks from under the rock*

*runs to grab a hammer and few nails*

*hands them out to all those you posted before me*

*runs to the corner to start crying*

I thought I was soooooo alone. NOt really, but honestly I did. I lost track of shitz. Providing for my family, putting them first. I already had high expectations for myself and then some.

My parents had high expectations and everyone else.

I am different or rather weird and crazy as a lot of people would tell me, growing up and even now. But I try and have avoided drama, most of my life.

I got sucked into this job, been pushed and pushed and pushed some more. To make someone else look better, and I would not get any credit. I know I have sold my soul per se. I go through this every so often, but SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE. Before I totally lose myself and/or die physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I am a criminal in a lot of eyes, because I use natural cures per se or to help open up my mind. And I am not honestly, doing anything that the true words of the Bible says or other religions. Enough said there.

I was not afraid of being "weird" or "different", I honestly was the better person. Because I wasn't the one judging them, and didn't have to worship in the MAN MADE CHURCH......

*slaps face*

Oh my gawd, how could I have been so stupid, ignorant and wrong??!!?? Letting them get to me. I haven't given a rats arse, about what they think of my parenting...why care about the other things too????!!??

*DUH DUH DUH*



Thank you all. Seriously, I am not being hard on myself per se. But what was I thinking. Jeez.

*OPens eyes*

*Waits for Jabby Bear aka Cloudrunner and all other comments*

I tried the "normal " thing throughout my life.
Oh the shoot downs....
In elementary school I had to laugh when other kids said "vagina" or "penis" because they were "naughty words". They were just body parts that everyone had. So why was it funny? Oops better laugh or you're gonna be a heterosexual! Yeah elementary school was torture.
Middle school was no better. My art if not my verbal thinking got me attention and sometimes in all the wrong ways ( just because my family believes in psychic stuff and ghosts does na mean outside our house does....I wish I would have known that before I told people I had seen ghosts).
The end of middle school got better. I knew I was an outcast. I ended up hanging out with the rest of them. I was the weirdest ( by far) but we were all we had against everyone else. 8th grade was probably the best social year of my school life ( ask Krispy.....them were the torturous good old days ).
Highschool I gave up for awhile and was DELIBERATELY weird. For instance I dragged my duffel around, named it Ralph ( spelled XYZ) and would yell at him as I walked the corridors. "You WILL learn to walk! You are just TOO heavy to keep carrying everywhere!"
Sure I got the odd looks. But they were blessfully silent about their remarks ( too scared to go near the Crazy). I figured they were gonna remark and pick on me anyways....might as well give them a show and get it over with. It worked so well that corridors parted when I came walking through and I could pilfer lunch offa other people with no questions asked.
I tried real hard one year in highschool and was quiet and dressed normal too. My art gave me away and at 19 I was telling people that when Hell came along I would happily greet them at the gate.
By that time I stumbled over Wicca and boy WAS THAT EVER FUN trying to wade through by myself.
And my weirdometer just got longer and filled quicker over the years.
Weird because I like bacon with my icecream.
Weird because "going to coffee" means ordering a Cola ( I do na like warm coffee...it makes me sleepy....frappaciinnos wake me up though).
Weird because the glass is never half empty. It is always full ( half with water and half with potential.....the air is a space saver for that potential).
Weird because my thought process can tangent so quickly that Blue= Cola.
Weird because I tell people about a stone or color that could help them.
Weird because I know when someone is in a bad mood even if they look okay.
Weird because I practice no particular path of religion ( to a point that Ecclectic can't define me either).
Weird because because because.
And then there is the bright colored hair ( thanks Manic Panic!)
In fact the purple, blue, or red hair that I sport has become my "normal" so thickly that when I went back to my natural color people asked me if I was alright ( which only made me feel WORSE!). It's like if I am having a calm day where I am not "weird" people are all up in arms and thiking I am sick or something......that hurts you know....well it used to......
Weird because I am me.
Fuck that.
I AM THE STANDARD.
My own Standard. No one elses.
So I tell people that too.
"Nope I am not weird. I AM THE STANDARD. You have a lot of work ahead of you before you reach me, that is okay though because as THE STANDARD I am patient, forgiving and understanding."
Some laugh. Some are thrown off by that. Oh well.
It's what I have learned for myself.
So keep that in mind.
You are your own STANDARD.
Pretty liberating isn't it?

C/S/

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