The Noble Pagan Forums - How Can I Heal My Broken Family?

Merry Meet and Merry Greet,

Noble Pagans,

I come to you on bended knee in this time of need for protection and nurturing. Cloudrunner brought me into this fold. I am quietly perusing threads and have posted quite an extensive profile so that I will be more easily accessible to any offers of help.

I am humbled and honored to be here as have been a lone practitioner until 2005 when I met another sole practitioner and we joined forces with her Aunt and the three of us have meditated on finding a peaceful way of life.

I have attended some local group events, assisted in charging women before heading off to political rallies, and taken tarot classes from the local "school" here that is underground now and I have lost that connect ...

Please peruse my profile if anything I've said speaks to you and ask me any question and I'll tell you no lies ...

I am here as a first time mother newly separated from my husband of 2 years. We agree to divorce peacefully and learn to co-parent peacefully from separate lives. He has left the home peacefully at my request on election day. We are having supervised visits with our son and hope to gain the strength and wisdom to get through this as a unified but forever more separated front. My husband is an attuned 3rd degree Reiki master specializing in polarity work. He also suffers a severe brain injury from a motorcycle 10-12 years ago where he died and was revived. He received his attunement post injury. He suffers from partial complex seizure disorders and PTSD. I am an ex social justice attorney, I was a community advocate for WildLaw before realizing my lifelong dream to be a full-time mother almost two years ago now...

I am suffering from extreme anger issues related to authority and people who cannot open their mind to my ability to see things differently or my unabashed and often tactless need to speak the truth. Always. I therefore, am beginning to separate myself from those in my life who lack integrity of word and character.

I fear for my husband's health and my own as we are both ill from the stress we are creating for each other.

I have a large network and sister circle here that I am currently reconnecting with. I feel safe but want to feel safer. I also am hungry for knowledge and that is why Cloudrunner has invited me in ...

I look forward to meeting EACH and EVERYONE in this safe-haven.

MUCH PEACE LOVE AND LIGHT,
T.
=^. .^=

Very nice to meet you While I don't have any advice for (I'm not very good at that kind of thing) I do wish you and yours the very best. Welcome to our little group

Welcome to our extended family here on the web, though I don't have any advise to give you, you and your family are in my prayers...

Merry meet unto you
Gather yourself by the fire
Enjoy the hearths warmth


Fissures in the heart
Where did my life go, what now?
All seems lost, lonely

Raven shares your pain
His nest too fell asunder
Fresh cold winds he rides

You both have been wise
To work together, find peace
Among lifes constant change

What now? Raven caws
How will you shape your future?
Is it back to law?

I know where you stand
Though thoughts need not become words
When they cut like knives

Often I have thought
That because my words were truth
They should thus be heard

Compassion not tact
Should guide when words become thought
Our words can be swords

Integrity, new friend
Is not just speaking our truth
But knowing when to

Witches are oft said
To know the greatest secret
Our bodies tell us

We are gifted with
Two ears, one mouth, in balance
Lessons lay herein

Now I will not say
That you speak too much, I can't.
We are newly met

So take this wisdom
As meant for you, and for all
See if it applies

You are welcome here
Both open arms, and cocoa
We will share with you

I have seen this name
Which server do you play on
Thorium perhaps?

Or Blackwater Raiders
Do you call your home for this
The Raven must know

On Thorium find
Forendal, Dwarf Paladin
Amyth, Night Elf Priest

__________________
Into the shadows
Where eyes can open wider
I will find my truth

Become endarkened
Forget all I have seen and
Learn to see again

Thank you Raven, your insight and wisdom are right on point. I would have to honestly say that I DO speak too much. And I have never learned the sage lesson of when to hold my tongue. I have always blurted out the truth and believing I could harm none with truths. I am now seeing that very differently and wondering how I might have withered under the same harsh truth-swords wielded against me by others...

Unfortunately, our family healing has now had to resort to law. I had to take out a restraining order against my husband due to continuing threats and violence but I am still hopeful for a peaceful future. As it is, I am now receiving the help from the state and various agencies that my own "families" have denied me.

However the help comes to me, I am grateful. And I thank you for all of your prayers and warm thoughts. They have manifested in many people coming to my aid locally. Even people I did not expect to help.

I feel peace now and see a future full of hope.

Thank you all.

P.S.

Valpala explores the Eldre'Thalas realm and is a younger spawn of Valvoodoo...

It is an honor
To be of service to you
Thank you most humbly

*hugs*

I'm a little late and out of sync with all this ( you know what I mean ). Blame the weather here ( snow in THIS state?? Unheard of!).

Seriously though......

As for Anger Management.....I'm still wading through that myself.
"An it harm none do as thou wilst"
This led me to smashing bricks with a sledgehammer ( hey that walkway was in desperate need of being moved as it was a hazard).
I lost focus though.
This year has been really rough for many many people (including my family) and I kinda forgot the "none" part of that age old adage and took to busting out windows with my fists ( twice now). I figgered I wasn't really hurting anyone right......? I forgot that "harm none" applies to mental and emotional.....I freaked and worried more than one person out.
So now I stick to sledging up the rubble in the back yard or some other alternatives (It's all my pit fighting manager will allow me to do. )
So if you need to take out some anger I suggest:

Busting up rubble ( with safety glasses mind you)

Take a walk. A really really long walk. You could always run it off too (I'm lame so I just walk ridiculous lengths).

Work out. No seriously. Work out. Push ups, situps, extreme pilates, whatever. It works. Really. This is the non smashing version of breaking rubble.

Get into your car and SCREAM. Seriously. I think of my car as my " time out office". I've been known to go out to the car for a time out and scream my head off ( and pound the wheel). If anyone asks.....hey I'm taking a time off so frappe off.

Okay so now we got the physicality out of the way. Verbally......
I too believe in calling it as I see it ( and backing it up to boot). I've learned the hard way that even though I'm being truthful it is sometimes not asked for, warranted, or recieved kindly. Part of that could be my lack of timing. Or my disdain for sugar coating. Or, or, or........

One thing I HAVE learned though is the two parts to communication. Speaker and Listener. Speaker is in charge of what s/he says and so should do so clearly, concisely, compassionately ( as allowed) and with no malice. That is all the Speaker has control of. Once those words are out in the open the Listener will do with them as s/he feels fit. And that is something no one but the Listener has control over.

As a Listener, listen and do so as neutrally as possible. The Speaker may be having a hard time clearly communicating. Ask questions for clarification. That is really all you can do as a Listener. If as such you immediately personalize or let those words hurt you then as a Speaker you use your words less for communication and more as a weapon that will reap regret later.

Do I always practice what I preach? No. I'm a person who messes up just as much as anyone else. I try though. That is all I can do. And even if I did attain some paramount of perfection I would have my work cut out maintaining it. LOL!

Welcome to our little online family ( growing daily btw). CloudRunner is a wonderful friend to have and I am glad you took him up on his invite. You will meet many wonderful people here ( such as you noticed RavenWillow, Xynyth, and Drackam).

I hope you find what you need here and if there is anything I can do to help let me know.

*hugs*

C.S.

/\/\^^/\/\ <----Spooder is quite happy to see the TNP family growing!

Thank you Thank you Thank you

So far, just THINKING about smashing things to put in my bottles has lifted the anger. I have found peace for now and feel a calm I'm not sure I've ever felt before. Calm before the storm? Probably.

I'm trying just not to speak for now since my words come out very biting and hostile no matter how hard I try. Written word will have to appease my "family and friends" for now.

My hearing is in the morning and I am hopeful and remaining strong for my son. I must remain calm tomorrow or I will play right into the hands which I know will try to agitate and elicit an IRE-y response from me.

I have some lovely cedar, sage and other niceties to have a bit of a relaxation "smudge" about myself this evening. I am off for dinner and to market to bake things for my son's eldest brother who will come care for him here tomorrow while I am in court.

I feel all of your lovings for me and the golden threads holding me up now are strong and many.

I shall be visiting TNP much more often now. I've been a bit overwhelmed at the complete transformation in my spirit since first I arrived but that is a VERY good thing...

Another noble pagan that was randomly thrown in my path from another dimension completely has also brought me much comfort and he chops up wood with his anger and then heats his home with it and cooks up its ire-fire... brilliant, literally

just visualizing smashing and chopping and burning is enough for now.
I also took looooooooooooooong walk in forest and collected bits of flint and an arrowhead remnant - I asked their makers if I could take them home with me and they said they had jumped out of the sand and into my hands for a reason ...

more later and thanks for all your concern and support - I am truly blessed to be here.