The Noble Pagan Forums - I'm the Boss

Bullzheet......it is the doings of the mind gnome that eats away delicately at your subconscious......



C/S/

It's because the cake is a lie.

Spooder feels very bad for Cloudrunner as one if not both of his only two eyes must not be functioning to well. Spooder sees the cake just fine and in fact is enjoying a nice slice right now.

Having a useless ex myself, I feel pretty certain in saying that you're wrong- he totally realizes what he's doing to your relationship with your boy, and doesn't care- he gets what he wants, and that's what is important. As a fellow single parent, the best advice I can give you is to follow through on your plan to keep Cherokee (cool name by the by) home and not send him back again- ever. The problem is that kids are a lot smarter than we grown ups give them credit for. Cherokee knows damned well that he's being used. He will grow up to resent it, and may well grow up to resent you for putting him in that position and not removing him from it. I don't mean to sound harsh- I know you're doing all you can for him in the best way available to you- but think of it from his perspective- he won't understand that. Kids are smart- but not yet wise. I tell you this, in this way, because my own kids have begun to resent their own mother. She genuinely is selfish and useless, and does regularly abandon them- not that she ever had much contact with them in the first place after the divorce. You don't want Cherokee to even start to think that you may have actually abandoned him- and if your asshole ex is actually telling people that, then it will likely get back to him, and he may start to believe it. Now I know- I don't know you, and you don't know me, but in my perspective, the best thing in the world for your little boy is for him to be home with you. (My ex comes from a family where fathers abandon their children and they assumed that I would do the same. I fought with the fury of the gods to keep my kids, and I encourage all good parents to do the same- that is what makes a good parent- the willingness to go to your grave for your kids.) Never do anything without first asking- how will effect my child? They are, and from their first heartbeat, always will be, more important than you.

Good luck. My prayers and thoughts are with both of you.

...and I just read through the rest of this thread... Hooray random weirdness! Can I have some thorazine cake?

Be very sure that you have paperwork backing up your right to keep him; it only takes one Amber alert to really throw a wrench into things. Even if that is not the type of thing he would do, it may be the type of thing said GF influences him to do.

That's also a question of legal custody. If there is no custody order, then Mom has the rights. You do make a good point- make sure all your ducks are in a row as the saying goes.

I have legal custody. "Dad" isn't really dad. Iowa law states that so long as a child goes somewhere knowingly by the caregiver, then techincally, it isn't kidnapping because they know where the child is. Actually, I could walk in there today and take him with the option to file custodial interference charges if needed. I doubt it would go that far, but I do know what my rights are.

Sounds like you have your bases covered then. Go for it!