The Noble Pagan Forums - My Father and Mother [/sigh]

So, recently I've taken up the path for paganism or rather the Celtic form of it. I've studied it for a few years and I've been happier being Pagan then I have in any other religion. Well, my Mother knows the path I've chose to take and....She's supportive. In a way. She still cant understand why I can't be Catholic like her. She say's that the ritual's are basically the same, we both lite incense, and etc. Though I don't think she just doesn't understand that it doesn't feel the same.

My father... He's seen the books I've bought and such and I think it's pretty hard to ignore a book titled, "Green Witch Craft". He says he's Atheist but he leans more toward the Agnostic views. I very rarely get onto the subject of religion with him. Though when I do I can't help but get irritated. He says that Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and something else that I can't remember are the only religions. When I ask about Paganism, Egyptians, and such he just scoffs and says they aren't religions. They're beliefs.

Then my elder sisters and my mother are questioning my Sexuality even though I've clearly stated that I'm Pansexual. Though I just say, "I'm attracted to both genders but and the same time I'm not." My eldest sister is bisexual and encourages me to be true to my self while my other sister just sighs and shakes her head. My mother get's her feathers in a ruffle and says I can't know if I'm attracted to a gender unless i've actually been with that gender. So, it makes me want to ask her "Well, you haven't been with a woman? How do you know you're not attracted to females?"

I know they mean the best... Though it just get's frustrating at times. Then my other sister has a way of beating me down... Well, both verbally and physically. Mostly verbal though. She would say that I don't know what I want because I'm a child and I don't have 'experience' and that she knows me enough to know that'll i'll make mistakes. Even though she spends most of her time telling me I'm 'fat', 'a bully', or other mean terms.

I dunno... Just, does anyone have any helpful advice? I know my life isn't that bad, but I can't help being down at times. Any advice given to cheer me up/criticize me[why would i want that? o.O]/etc. would be very much appreciated.

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My family was like that at first. My dad still says he's going to buy me a goats head so I don't have to use the good cups :p

They mean well. All I can say is it gets better and more acceptable. My family is Episcopalian and Roman Catholic, my grandfather was a bishop and my uncles priests and now they think it's kind of cool that I'm pagan.

It does get better with time

First of all....

WELCOME TO THE PAGAN UMBRELLA! Its a term we've claimed here to express the wide variety of pagans and pagan paths you'll find here.

Secondly, for a long time, Catholicism was considered a Pagan religion due to its ritual foundation. So I can understand where she's coming from but you're entirely right! You do feel different and thats a valid reason for choosing a different path from your parents.

Religion and Spirituality are heavy decisions to make. Good for you for researching this before jumping in!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emerald Shine My father... He's seen the books I've bought and such and I think it's pretty hard to ignore a book titled, "Green Witch Craft". He says he's Atheist but he leans more toward the Agnostic views. I very rarely get onto the subject of religion with him. Though when I do I can't help but get irritated. He says that Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and something else that I can't remember are the only religions. When I ask about Paganism, Egyptians, and such he just scoffs and says they aren't religions. They're beliefs.

There is in my mind a difference in Religion and Spirituality. I see Religion as a man made belief that is used to maintain control through a 'spiritual' faith. This is something I believe to be wrong-- you should never use a persons faith to control them by fear.

I believe that Spirituality is a more pure practice of Faith. Faith is having a pretty damn good idea-- but not always having the 'right' answer. We spend too much time fretting over whats right and not enough time taking that plunge and learning through experience. Its OK to be cautious! Its OK to get your barrings and a good idea of what you want to do or the direction you want to take! So please don't misunderstand me. But its been my experience many are paralyzed by fear and thus miss out.

Always ask questions! Take chances, learn from the mistakes and keep going! You'll have guidance from different people and entities (deities) through out this journey and into the next.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emerald Shine Then my elder sisters and my mother are questioning my Sexuality even though I've clearly stated that I'm Pansexual. Though I just say, "I'm attracted to both genders but and the same time I'm not." My eldest sister is bisexual and encourages me to be true to my self while my other sister just sighs and shakes her head. My mother get's her feathers in a ruffle and says I can't know if I'm attracted to a gender unless i've actually been with that gender. So, it makes me want to ask her "Well, you haven't been with a woman? How do you know you're not attracted to females?" I know they mean the best... Though it just get's frustrating at times. Then my other sister has a way of beating me down... Well, both verbally and physically. Mostly verbal though. She would say that I don't know what I want because I'm a child and I don't have 'experience' and that she knows me enough to know that'll i'll make mistakes. Even though she spends most of her time telling me I'm 'fat', 'a bully', or other mean terms. I dunno... Just, does anyone have any helpful advice? I know my life isn't that bad, but I can't help being down at times. Any advice given to cheer me up/criticize me[why would i want that? o.O]/etc. would be very much appreciated.

I'm right with ya girl! I think love is such a beautiful thing and something that most people are desiring of. Love comes in different forms and ways and I think its just ridiculous to refuse it based on gender.

You're a beautiful person. I can tell from your post. Don't let them paint your reflection-- only you can. Your life, your path. However until you move out you're going to be under pressure and the eye of judgment. Try not to let them get to you. Accept their opinions for what they are; opinions. Love them in spite of their narrow mindedness. Try to educate them when you can, allow them the space they need and hopefully they will allow you the space you need.

If you need anything, please holler! I'm more than open to conversation.

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I know I havent read all of the replies... But I have an interesting retort to the sister that says you are going to make mistakes...

"So did you go through your life making no mistakes?"

I know it's a bit evil but it works... At least it did on my sister...

I didn't become Pagan till I was an adult, so I didn't have to live with my parents when I told them. But I can feel some of your pain. Mine are die hard Fundamental Baptists and fully believe I'm going to burn in hell. I got so sick of hearing about it and them not listening that I just refuse to talk to them about religion now

I'm glad yours are at least trying to be openminded. As for the sexuality...I don't think people choose...I didn't make a choice to be straight, I just am.

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“There is no art in turning a goddess into a witch, a virgin into a whore, but the opposite operation, to give dignity to what has been scorned, to make the degraded disireable, that calls for art or for character.” ~ Goethe

There is plenty of time to figure things out. I'm 32 err.. 25 and just now starting to handle everyday stuff, like cleaning my house and having meals at home. It has taken a lot of trial and error (and I have made some big errors) to know what I like, don't like, will tolerate, and what I downright will not have in my life. But along the way, I have learned from my mistakes, which has helped me understand who I am and what I need.

It is also difficult, but at some point we all have to come to terms with the parts of ourselves that we can't share with our families. Heck, there are things that I haven't shared with ANYONE, no matter how much I trust them. Religion is something I don't share with my family. Mostly because I don't have any (I'm Atheist). My grandparents won't even call my daughter by her name because her name is Heaven Lee. But I have learned that that is their problem, not mine, so they call her "H. Lee" and I ignore it.

I have a brother who likes to hurt me. He will set out to be mean or physically hurt me. He likes to judge me as a parent, which stings the worst because I am always worried that I am screwing up in that department. A wise woman told me just the other day to "consider the source". Just because he is my brother, doesn't mean is an authority on my parenting skills or choices. His intentions are not pure and come from a place of hatred. So it is not in my best interest to even entertain what he has to say. It isn't always easy, but that is why I call someone who loves me and cry on their shoulder and listen to what a great parent I am and how much my brother is an ass.

So try to live just for today. Remember that family is not your best voice/advocate. And you have plenty of time to figure these things out for you.

((((((((hugs)))))))))

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Well first as Macha said welcome to the Pagan Umbrella.

Second, i'm 25 now...wow sis we are the same age *ggls* Kris is my soul sister. Anyway back on topic, i'm 25 and i've been a pagan since I was about 17. My mother was a devote Quaker and till I was 20 she told me in no uncertain terms that there were to be no rituals in the house. Through education and the fact that my step-father became a son of Shiva she's more supportive now. You can't however, control your parents and if they come to accept you or not is really going to have to be there choice. Keep doing what you feel you have to and see where it takes you. Kind of what Kris said when she said live for today etc. She's so wise.

Siblings are hard to say anything about because sometimes people are close to siblings and sometimes not. My middle brother and I are super close. We are like twins its a little weird. My oldest brother and I are so far apart its kind of scary. I've been physically and verbally abused by the oldest brother..he used to try and get into my pants. *shudders* He and I don't have any interaction alone anymore and its rare we have it with people around. I'm 25 and have more control over all that now. I don't know how old you are but if you don't want to deal with your sister and you live with her maybe just set up a space that's yours and you can go there when she's bothering you. *hugs*

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I've told my mother I'm Pagan, even though I still involve myself in the occasional church festivity (primarily because its a family thing and it makes my mother happy), but she's still not happy with my decision, as she has always hoped I will return to the church someday. Still, she told me she was happy to hear I still believed in something....I upset her more
many years ago when I told her I was an atheist (that didn't last long, as I reallized at the time I fell more into agnosticism than atheism).





From Wikipedia:

"A religion is a system of human thought which usually includes a set of narratives, symbols, beliefs and practices that give meaning to the practitioner's experiences of life through reference to a higher power, deity or deities, or ultimate truth.[1] Religion is commonly identified by the practitioner's prayer, ritual, meditation, music and art, among other things, but more generally is interwoven with society and politics. It may focus on specific supernatural, metaphysical, and moral claims about reality (the cosmos and human nature) which may yield a set of religious laws, ethics, and a particular lifestyle. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and religious experience".


Now, my pagan path lies along Egyptian lines, and from what I have seen in my study of Egyptian history, their "beliefs" permeated every function of their society. Everything I quoted from Wikipedia above, if anyone bothered to read something about their history would realize that what the Egyptians believed in was a full-fledged religion, as it incorporated all elements of entry, along with a belief in magic and the corporeal ruler as godhead.

The Egyptian Religion (or variations thereof) was probably one of the cornerstones of Western Mystical Thought, and had a great deal of influence on the Christian Religion. (For example the Horus resurrection and divine trinities). I suspect you probably realize all this, but I am constantly amazed at the screaming ignorance of some people.



Most atheists I've met were usually pretty bright people but I've recently begun to realize that in all populations there is always an exception.