The Noble Pagan Forums - B-Cheezers UNITE!!!

B-Cheezers?

What the frappe??

You know those TERRIBLE CHEESEY B rated horror flicks? Come on....the ones done on a foreign foodstamp budget?

Yeah that's my passion. I love them. They amuse me to no end. Who is with me? Raise your hand and let us UNITE in laughing hysterically and even maniacally at:
BAD ACTING
BAD PLOT ( if it HAS one)
BAD DIALOGUE
and....
FOODSTAMP BUDGET SPECIAL EFFECTS & COSTUMERY!!!!

Some titles I recommend......

Lost Skeleton of Cadavera
CR can vouch for me on that one. It was made just a few years ago as a SPOOF of the sci-fi AND horror genres from like the 50's or 60's. And THAT is it's genius!!!

The COOK
What happens when you give a murdering Hungarian cook to a sorority house? The vegetarian was soooooo offended by his menu ideas......

FIDO
Not really low budget, definately funny. It's a touching movie about a boy....and his Zombie

Black Sheep
No not the one with Chris Farley in it. This one takes place in New Zealand. Where else are you gonna find WereSheep??

Dead Alive
Hmmmm another zombie movie. Should we go for plot or gore? Wait! In a few years it won't even matter because Peter Jackson will be a hit then!!!!

Killer Clowns from Outer Space
Oh no! Not the popcorn gun!!

Blood Diner
It's SUPPOSED to be a vegetarian diner........but what other way could these two fellows and their uncle in a jar be able to rabble up enough body parts for the great Goddess Sheetar??!!

Slugs
Brought to you by the peeps who did Blood Diner. Yup. It's killer slugs. Better start walking fast now........

Bikini BloodBath
Uh oh! A deranged chef is running around killing off highschool students! Why? They never really explain that however I did learn that in the event your friend get's murdered in your house in the middle of your party it is IMPORTANT to calm down with two hours of emergency strawberry dacquiris.

Bikini BloodBath Carwash
That's right! Chef Death ( also known as The Meat Reaper) is back and ready to take on the girls who carwash for extra money! In this movie I learned that yes......bikini's CAN make you look fat.......


So you get the idea. Terrible movies. Lots of eye watering fun.

Oh and while this does not fit the category of Horror it does hit strange, funny and TERRIFICALLY cheesey ( if not downright disturbing):

Calamari Wrestler
This is my newest fave flick to inflict on peeps. It's a japanese flick ( where else would you get a man sized wrestling cephalopod) so you have to read your movie. The plot? Wrestler was great. Got sick. Learned a new technique that turned him into a squid (?) and now wants to be the best wrestler ever. WAIT! There's MORE! You'll have to watch the movie to find out though.......

So are there any other B - Cheezers in the house? Step up and share your titles!!!!

HURRAH!!!!!!

C.S.

/\/\-</\/\ <---Spooder feels a headache coming on......

Two word's Spiderlady:

They Live.

LOL!

Yes that one was pretty awesome too. I think it is most famous for it's reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeediculously long back alley fight scene between Rowdy Roddy Piper and some other fellow.

*thinks of more titles*

Worst Movie Ever Made
I've yet to sink myself totally into this one however I did catch a scene where they used a watermelon wearing a wig to indicate a blowing crush to the head. At least that's what I think they were trying to message the audience.

Enter The Zombie King
This one seems to take place in Florida. In a village or town where everyone is a luchadore wrestler (Mexican mask wearing). Quite interesting......

Wrestlemaniac
Ray Mysterio Sr. is in this one.....as the Wrestlemaniac! He's waiting to take you down luchadore style and you won't like it when he goes to rip off your "mask".

Jack Brooks Monster Slayer
This one had us in STITCHES! I'm wondering what Robert Englund did in order to have to appear in this title.......

The Monster Hunter
David Carradine stars in this psychological thriller. The monsters seem to be all in his head? The movie is so so but it does have a bit of a twist that will grab you by your......

Matthew Blackheart: Monster Smasher
No names you'll reconize in this flick. They decided that acting,plot and special effects weren't really needed either. The costumery is GREAT though ( I think that is where they spent their budget).


Come on peeps! We need more titles! More titles! Share em or watch the ones ( if you dare) that have been shared and give your two guatalajaran centavos on the matter.

WOOT!!!!

C.S.

/\/\--/\/\ <----Spooder says C.S. needs to get out more often

Evil Aliens... The budget was a case of beer I believe...

Alright...had to put this down for you guys:

Cult of UHF

Seriously...teh shit!

FREE Video podcasts of UHF B-Cheese. Bringing back UHF one movie at a time.

We recently bought Zombie Strippers. Yeah seriously. Foony and hilarious! Guys will appreciate all the gratuitous boobage.

Also my friend subjected us to one of the most horrid, ridiculous and DISGUSTING movies I have ever been made to watch. I have been scarred for life by Poultrygeist..............

C.S.

/\/\VV/\/\ <-----Spooder is STILL having nightmares of Poultrygeist

lmao,..to funny cloud,.....watch the flick and damn is it cheese n funny at the same time,.... thanks for sharing

I actually broke my promise today... It's 23:00 at time of writing...

I watced a B movie... I watched it all the way through because it had one of my favorite female actors in it and I thought it was quite good... It's called Mammoth... You should really watch this one... It's hilarious...