Disclosure: Beware this many be short and it might be long. LOL. But I will just leave to one or two topics, I promise. I apology for any spelling, grammar and/or flipping flopping words....the insomnia is acting up again so my mind is wondering a bit and going at about 200 mph.....
I haven't been sleeping well again. Either I am, suffering from sinuses, cold and/or chest cold. THen I am not sleeping well, because this bout is difficult to breathe at night. OR just stressing about a lot of things and/or life just in general everything is demanding my attention at the moment. And I mean everything!!! Hence, I think I have insomnia. I have for years, but because of "work" and some people in general are testing me. Life is testing me, I damned near lost my husband and/or one of my best friend couple months ago. Plus, few other major life stressers aka life changes that cause people to kill themselves over type a life changes/events. My "insomnia" or undiagnosed insomnia has kicked in with a vengeance, so I have a lot of time to think at 3 am in the morning. ;P
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And work is testing me, like no other........
Just people in general, if you want to call them people. More like soulless and/or horrible people. NOt the bottom of the cesspool, but very, very close. They suck the life and/or energy from me. The people/customers I have to help fixed their problems "mainly financial or banking", but until I can address their emotional needs and/or state. I CAN NOT DO MY JOB AND SELL THE PRODUCTS AND OR/SERVICES that will honestly help them. (These people have been screwed over by some of the same people in my "position", and many other people, their families included sometimes. MY HEART BLEEDS FOR THESE PEOPLE. THey are good people, they try to help other people, and their family sometimes included. But they are the ones that get taken. "MY PEOPLE".) I come home exhausted, emotionally and/or physically as well.
I have been looking at a lot of topics, trying to take it all in.
A bit about, different religions.....how they compare, how they may have "borrowed" different ideologies from the other. Which one is older than that other? I have slept for a few year sort to speak, as far as not exploring or learning about other religions/faiths. Just looking for the answers if you will. I need to buy or get some books to read, because the internet can only do so much for me. (With the exception of this site, I love ya guys.
...You have all been opening my mind again. And I thank you for that.)
I honestly, have to say that I am probably pagan/wiccan. However, I am not quite ready to say that whole hardheartedly. At the same time, throw a bit of native American spirituality, lil bit of Buddhism, Rastafarian, Christianity, and maybe couple of faiths and/or beliefs. I am still on my spiritual path and/or am try to find my Spirituality again.
I have a few questions. Any response will be greatly appreciated, I am open to ideas/suggestions/ and/or guidance.
First off, I am greatly needing change. In all areas of my life, job, pay off couple debts that need to be addressed.
My hubby and I have been seeing "signs", whether it be in the form of people that I have been meeting, have met but just lost touch with; also animals have been making their presence know and demanding our attentions or mine especially.
I have talk to few people about this and am at peace and know what I need to do. JUST LISTEN, WATCH, SLOOW DOWN, BE A BIT MORE PATIENT...
Secondly, I have been wanting to move to the west out near the mountains. (SOme where, few states come to mind...WA, OR, ID, western MT, and CO. I have been and am being drawn there. When we go to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I imagine and/or tempted to hit the accelerator and just drive further west. I have thrown a rock into CO, but never step foot in CO. First few times: I was with my life, school function or music group and couldn't cross the border. I could see it at different ridges, and or tourist attractions. There has been many signs pointing to CO. Plus timing is a factor too...
Our daughter is 12, she just started 6th grade "MIDDLE SCHOOL"...she is torn about moving. She doesn't not want to move. Their are a few very close friends that she has met and known since kindergarten or recently met. (They are like minded, free spirited, independent, to name a few adjectives.) But yet she is tried of the ultra conservative, fear based, ignorant, closed minded people, church etc. So when, I explain what it is like to see mountains, nature, most the people that you meet in this areas and how much she would "fit in" better. SHe doesn't quite believe me, that I know or just know, what I am talking about.
I/we need to move before she starts High school. I have been seeing the number 21 a lot..(this may be totally unrelated to the move)...But I also, have a sense that major change is coming in 6-18 months, for me, some family member and close friends. And she would also start 8th grade in about 18 months...HRmmmmmm
I need a little guidance or help there.....
Thirdly, our daughter is starting to put pressure on me to let her learn about Wicca. She still hasn't told me, she is wanting to learn magick/spells. Until, she tells me the whole story behind her wanting to "change" religions. I don't think she is ready. She is just starting to come in or be more open to me about the fact that she is sensitive to other worldly things. I think and/or know that she has people or friends around here, that are trying to learn from her, potentially for bad/negative things. Some of her friends are being encourage by her and/or me. That it is ok, they are not "crazy"; you need to be your own person; don't care what other people think. I think she still needs to learn some of these gifts and lessons. Also, I think she still need to question her "faith" and other things before she commits to one religion or another. (We have let her "try on" or see other faiths/denominations. So she can decided. Grandma (my mother), not so happy about this, put her two cents in, but doesn't push the issue.)
I just want some peace of mind that I am doing what is right here, that she still needs to be patient and not rush into it.
That is it for now. I have some more specific questions about a few things, but those will have to wait for now. It's time to read a bit more. And it's time to take care of some other things now, holidays, birthday, visit.....And thank you for listening....
*waves**hugs**smiles*
I need some help and/or guidance...... 
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