The Noble Pagan Forums - Learning From Lizard

**CelticSpider** · #1 10-24-2009

This is an old blog entry I came across ( mine of course) and I thought I would share it here.
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Leaving a part of yourself behind in order to survive.....

What an interesting concept.....

I was watching some nature program with the kids this morning and this is what stuck with me when we watched a bit that was about a type of legless lizard. A Magpie was attacking it and it looked as if the poor lizard was done for. Then SHAZAM! It shed part of its tail off and scurried away. The Magpie was distracted by the still twitching piece and so did not notice when the larger portion of its meal slithered away.

To leave a piece of oneself behind in order to move on....

What a concept.

How many pieces of ourselves do we lament over? That we don't need? That were left behind so that we could continue on? Why do we feel this need to go back in time and grab those pieces? Or spend hours lamenting how we would have never had to lose them or give them up if we had made different choices?

The legless lizard over time, grows back its tail so that it may once again shed it, if the need for survival in that matter should arise.

Do we do that? Do we grow back pieces of ourselves to prepare a necessary sacrifice? Perhaps we should.

Do we grow back pieces at all? If we do are they the same pieces?

I think the answer is no. They are not the same pieces and that is why it is so hard to let go of them. I think that is why we mourn them when they are gone. I think that is why we want them back.

Until you really look at it.

I know I lamented and cried when I lost my heart to the wrong person. A person who helped me become who I am now.....though not in the conventional happy ways of a fairy tale. I gave him everything. And he took it all in the end.
In a sense I lost me.
Or at least I lost the me I was then. Do I want that person back?
I used to think so. The me before that did not feel so damaged and dirty and dumb. So used and naive. So egotistically struck. So ashamed.
That person before my heart was sacrificed was fucked up, but was in the process of being fixed. And then the hammer came smashing down to pulverize the little pieces of esteem, faith, dreaming and more that were left.

That lizard showed me something today.

I don't want that me back. I can't grow a new "old " me. I have evolved into something else. Through sacrificing my heart and ego, self and soul I have learned the hard way how to regrow it in different ways and how to share it. And who to share it with.

Who shares my heart now is more of what I needed and wanted than I could have ever imagined.

So how does one prepare themselves for a necessary sacrifice? I don't think we can. I am not even sure if the lizard who leaves its tail behind even realizes what it is trying to ensure for its future when it grows the tail back.
Imagine how much tiring work it would be to try and pick and choose what we are willing to sacrifice. Imagine what would happen if we worked on all the wrong areas and a situation arose that did not "fit our plan".

I think all we can do is learn to let go and move on just like that lizard.

What parts of yourself have you let go and mourn for?

Why would you want those pieces back?

Would having those pieces back truly make you happy?

How could you know?

That lizard really hit home today for some odd reason. I think I am prepared if I ever need to be, to leave it all behind. After all.....it is an opportunity to move on.

The shoulda's coulda's and woulda's of the past have no bearing on our present......unless we choose to let it do so.

C/S/

The Noble Pagan Forums - Learning From Lizard

This is an old blog entry I came across ( mine of course) and I thought I would share it ...

Discussion Tags: before, choose, color, different, faith, feel, give, grows, happy, heart, kids, leaves, lost, made, may, morning, nature, need, needed, past